Giving some thought to gifts: a guest post for the Italy Blogging Roundtable
Having been asked to contribute to the Italy Blogging Roundtable on the subject of “gifts”, I am now having problems as to what I can write about. However, as the saying goes, “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth” or, to put it another way, “a caval donato non si guarda in bocca”. Which means the same thing: if someone has given you a present, don’t complain!
Well, I guess what I could write about here is: did the Italian or the English version of the above proverb precede the other? In other words, which came first: the chicken or the egg? Or, to put it another way, È nato prima l’uovo o la gallina?
Intriguing as the origin of proverbs can be, though, I am going to have to leave that topic for another day, since what’s called for here is for me to regale you with some thoughts on the subject of “gifts”, or — in Italian — regali.
When I think of presents or gifts in an Italian context, my thoughts go to when I was child (in the UK) and my (Italian) mother made us hang up a stocking on the night on January 5, so that during the night, the Befana would come and, when we awoke on January 6, we would find our stocking filled with gifts.
And who is the Befana? Well, an old woman who travels round the (Italian-speaking) world, on a broomstick, delivering gifts to good children, and lumps of coal to bad ones. Why January 6? Well, it’s connected to the Epiphany and the Three Wise Men who came to Bethlehem, bearing … you guessed … gifts.
It wasn’t until I went to school that I discovered that British kids got their presents and their stockings filled on Christmas Day. I duly transmitted this information to my mum who was bemused. But adamant. Our Befana tradition continued until, at a certain point, my parents conceded, and we got Christmas presents. Followed, twelve days later, by our Befana gifts. Not a bad outcome at all ….
On that subject, I wonder when the Christmas present habit took hold in Italy? the 1970s? Another one of those topics I must look into when I have the time. If anyone has any comments on that, do please get in touch. I know, for example, that the Christmas Market phenomenon started no earlier than 1990 in Italy. And I recall debate in Milan in the early-1990s among friends about whether they were going to give Christmas presents.
Coming back to the present day, though, another topic connected with gifts in Italy is the giving and receiving of same. Apart from birthdays and the holidays, you might find yourself having to take a small gift to someone who has invited you for lunch or dinner. What to take? Now, unless it is your own wine from your own vineyard, taking vino to your host’s house is pretty much a no-no. Why? because wine is assumed to be part of the menu that is being prepared. If nothing else, how do you know what wine would be appropriate with the dishes planned?
So what are the options? Some people take flowers, but these can be a little hard to find especially if, like me, you remember at the last minute and have to rush out to the florist’s. Which closed five minutes before I came rushing up. Another thing: florists’ stores (fioristi or fiorai) are not that easy to find. Correct me if I’m wrong, but there seem to be proportionately fewer florists’ than other kinds of stores. Perhaps, like shoe-repair places, no-one wants to do that job any more.
Assuming you prefer not to take flowers, or have found the place closed, a cake or ice-cream — depending on the season — is a great solution. Not least, because pastry shops (pasticcerie) and ice-cream parlours (gelaterie) still seem to abound in Italy’s villages, towns and cities. Indeed, their main purpose is to provide lovely cakes and pastries — and often the gelato too — for special occasions. That’s why they are open all day Sunday, and through until at least 8pm, or even later. So they catch the going-out-for-dinner-at-someone’s-house crowd.
What to choose? Either a tray of little pastries, or a cake, or a box of ice-cream. How many, how big, how much? Well, that’s the first question the assistant will ask: How many people? (Per quante persone?) Once you’ve established that, you can move on to selecting either the little pastries, which will be placed on a little gilt-colored cardboard tray, or the cake, which will also be packed daintily, or the flavors of ice-cream. Here, you usually get a half-kilo of gelato, and you can pick four gusti. Say, two crema — chocolate (cioccolato), hazelnut (nocciola), coffee (caffè), or cream (panna) –, and two frutta — lemon (limone), strawberry (fragola), peach (pesca), these obviously changing according to the time of year, and what’s in season.
And how is this different from taking wine as a gift? Well, it’s different. For, even if your host has prepared a sweet — not a foregone conclusion — having a choice of two is always appreciated. Worse comes to worst, the ice-cream goes into the freezer, and you will be offered it the next time you visit! In the case of cakes, or pastries that need to be eaten quickly, if there are any left over at the end of the evening, these are often split amongst the guests. So you do get to take some home for breakfast the next day!
Coming now to gifts for birthdays or other occasions, these too can be problematic. Especially in Italy, where it is not assumed that you can return a gift, even if it is still in its box and is obviously unused. At best, you might be offered a credit note (un buono), to be used within the week. While EU law states differently, the retailer in italy is allowed to set his/her own rules. Thus you are advised to make sure that the gift you are planning to give is what’s really what the person wants.
On the plus side, the great thing about buying presents in Italy is that they can often be gift-wrapped in the store. This, along with the florist’s and the shoe-repair places, a dying tradition, but it is still hanging in there. When you get to the cash desk, you can say “E’ un regalo”, and the assistant will know what to do. Or the assistant him- or herself will ask “E’ un regalo?” and then you can just say, Yes, it is.
What to give? well, that’s easy. Whatever you think is appropriate or the person wants. What not to give? Now that is perhaps more to the point. Avoid soaps and things like that. They could be taken the wrong way. Books are less welcome as gifts in Italy than in countries where frequent bad weather forces people to stay home and read. When in doubt, give flowers (always an odd number if it’s roses. No, I don’t know why either!) or a plant.
Talking about plants as gifts, I have never asked, but we received a huge number of plants from our Italian friends when Mike and I got married. It made perfect sense. Neither of us was going to see 50 again. He had been married before, and had a fully-furnished house. I hadn’t, but had obviously accumulated a lot of fun stuff over the years. So what to give us? Not toasters or table mats, obviously. So, either singly or collectively, as a spontaneous thing or as an accepted part of the etiquette for what one does where the happy couple are a pair of ancients, our friends brought plants. And we loved them!
At this point, it is time for me to sign off. Before I do, though, I would like to proffer thanks to Alexandra M. Korey from ArtTrav, Gloria from At Home in Tuscany, and who tweets as @casinadirosa, Jessica Spiegel of Italylogue, Melanie Renzulli of Italofile, and Rebecca of Brigolante, travel writers, bloggers, tweeters extraordinaires on subjects Italian, for having thought up the idea of the Italy Blogging Roundtable, details of which can be found here: http://www.arttrav.com/headline/on-writing-about-italy/. An absolute monthly must-read for anyone interested in Italy! Thanks also you five, for this special Guest Issue on the subject of “gifts”, which has given lots of us in the Italy travel writing/blogging/tweeting community the chance to take part. Che bel regalo!
from the archive: In Italy Online – Italy’s Tallest Waterfall – But Only Five Times a Year!
Italy’s tallest waterfall: but only five times a year!
worth the walk ... and the wait!
A couple of months ago, I mentioned Vagli, the vanishing village near Lucca in Tuscany (link to be added). The reason is that the Italian electricity utility, ENEL, keeps it under wraps — or water, to be precise — most of the time, since it just happened to stand in the place they wanted to use as a reservoir about sixty years ago. Italy’s tallest — and Europe’s second-tallest — waterfalls have a similar history. Until 1931, when the Barbellino dam was built, the Cascate del Serio pursued their natural course, dropping 315 metres in three stages — of 105, 74, and 75 metres respectively — into a lovely rockpool below. These days, they do it between 11 am and 11.30 am, five times a year in June, July, August, September and October. Click here and search for the word “aperture” to see dates for the current year. If you want to be in on the scene, then head northeast out of Bergamo, taking the Val Seriana road, past Clusone, until you get to Valbondione. From there, take the road to Grumetti. Park here, and then it’s 45 minutes on foot, past the village of Maslana at 1,168 metres, and over the medieval Ponte della Piccinella, under which flows the river Serio. Take the path to the left and, fifteen minutes later, you will reach some rocks from which you — and a whole lot of other people – will be able to admire this outstanding sight.
By Roberta Kedzierski, Milan
via In Italy Online – Italy’s Tallest Waterfall – But Only Five Times a Year!.
more info at http://www.vivisulserio.it/content/view/74/65/
Sybille Kroos, Sergio Maina, Frank Sämmer, and Ulrike Zilly: art works, on show at P orto Ceresio, on the Italian shores of Lake Lugano, 26 August-4 September 2011
Subject: Sybille Kroos, Sergio Maina, Frank Sämmer, and Ulrike Zilly: art works, on show at Porto Ceresio, on the Italian shores of Lake Lugano, 26 August-4 September 2011
Running from 26 August to 4 September, 2011 in the exhibition space attached to the Library (Biblioteca Comunale) of Porto Ceresio, on the Italian shores of Lake Lugano, this show — organized by Galerie Tedden, Düsseldorf, Germany http://www.galerie-tedden.de — features the work of Sergio Maina, Frank Sämmer, Sybille Kroos, and Ulrike Zilly.
Sergio Maina was born in 1913, in Caslano, a small town on the Swiss shores of Lake Lugano just metres away from Lavena, on the Italian side of the Lake. For more on Sergio Maina, who died in 1933, see http://www.maina-sergio.ch/frameset.html
Sergio Maina painted many landscapes of the area around Caslano and Maliaso. He also executed a number of portraits. His works are included in the collections of, among others, the Museo Cantonale di Arte in Lugano, the Swiss Confederation in Berne, the Museo d’Arte in Mendrisio, and the Museo della Pesca in Caslano.
Frank Sämmer was born in Frankenberg/Eder, in 1947, and graduated from the State Academy of Art in Düsseldorf in 1978. Further examples of his work can be seen here: http://www.artnet.com/artists/frank-s%C3%A4mmer/biography-links/
Sybille Kroos was born in Bottrop, Germany, and graduated from the State Academy of Art in Düsseldorf, where she studied under Professor AR Penck. Sybille Kroos was one of the exhibitors in Peter Tedden’s last show in Porto Ceresio. This took place in July 2009. Consisting of views of Porto Ceresio, the show was — not too surprisingly — entitled Libro degli ospiti: vista sul lago.
After Porto Ceresio, Sybille Kroos’ work can be seen at the Muratcentoventidue-Artecontemporanea gallery, 122B Via Gioacchino Murat, in Bari, Puglia. Entitled Beauty Within The Banal, the exhibition runs from 9 September to 20 October 2011 . Further details here: http://puglialive.net/home/news_det.php?nid=46376. More information on the work of Sybille Kroos here: http://galerie-tedden.de/kroos1.html.
Ulrike Zilly is from Oberhausen, Germany. More of her work can be seen at the City Museum in Düsseldorf until 18 September, at a solo show entitled Heimatsatlas. Ulrike Zilly exhibited at Porto Ceresio during the last show organized there by Peter Tedden.This was entitled Libro degli Ospiti-vista sul Lago and ran from 17-26 July, 2009. Further information on Ulrike Zilly is available on her site: http://www.ulrike-zilly.de.
Next up on the 2010/2011 programme of art exhibits at Porto Ceresio Library is:
9-18 September 2011: paintings, drawings, and illustrations by Mike Snyder
23 September-2 October 2011: Views of the Varese area, paintings by Sergio Pegoraro
8-16 October 2011: Lights, colors, and emotions, paintings by Maria Luisa Pozzen and Luisa MainardiFor details of the entire programme of the 2010/2011 season of art shows at the Biblioteca Comunale, in Porto Ceresio (Varese), on the Italian shores of Lake Lugano, see: http://goo.gl/eCNxM.
For more information on Porto Ceresio, known as the Last Town in Italy, since the Swiss border lies just 2km away, see http://goo.gl/NBRGF.
